"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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