TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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