NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
