Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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