I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
