also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
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