You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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