I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
