so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize