if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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