ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize