It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
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