can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
