GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize