office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
