Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
