I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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