the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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