Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
