Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
