its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize
