i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
