I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
