So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize