Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
