maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Randomize
