i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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