i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Semen is not good for contacts.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
