She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
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couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
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That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
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