You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize