Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
