I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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