My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i love accidental penises.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
