are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Randomize
