So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
