I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
cat food counts as protein by the way
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
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