He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Randomize
