Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
