I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
