That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
