Your face is a jimmy john
Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
