garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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