about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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