Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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