Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
