Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize