my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I can't put those talents on a resume
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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