Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
