U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
