She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
