just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
