my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
