Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize