well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Randomize
