Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
