we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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