Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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