just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
