So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
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