I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize